好好说再见

Just a short post to update the blog today for what happen last week.

Last week was a crazy week full with up and down.

Over the weekend I went back to Melaka, mum just undergone an operation to cut her toe on her right feet. She is lack of knowledge about all these and we have to try make her comfort that she can still able to work and live as usual after the operation.

Then my eldest sis come and make all the complains to us about the extra charge of mum on her. She keep on nagging in Wechat until all of us cannot concentrate on work. So end up other sisters asked me also to go back home and settle this issue.

On the Wednesday, woke up super early in the morning. It has become a real dilemma, keep on refreshing while working, wechat keep on vibrating from the other hell, and the sleepiness come as woke up too early.

Then try to solve thing one by one. Sometimes, you will start appreciate everything around only when you started to countdown the day left. Good lesson. Countdown for everyday in your life. Only you know and remember that, we only live once. Appreciate each day.

Not forget to say thank you for each of you that has been accompany, supportive,  advice and also drag me down. All of you make me stronger, more training needed. I am ready to accept the challenge. Haha.

The Banned Movie in Malaysia

I recalled a movie list of mine which I have long forgotten  until I saw in Facebook another movie <Banglasia> which has been banned for more than a year, by Namewee. He was trying to raise fund for his movie to be published online as several ways has been tried to get through the government sector but failed.

So in case of anyone read this blog, well, not much people did I suppose, then if he/she is interested to support then they can do their part to watch the banned movie. 

I am not a fan of him, but the banned movie of <Banglasia> has reminded me of one small little to-do list.

我是演说家观后感之 存在感

昨天，泡在房间里看了〈我是演说家〉，差不多又到了总决赛，每个人的演讲都在不经意之间把我点醒。当然，不是每个人说的话都让我们信服，每个人都有自己对待事情的观点，也用着不同的方式去告诉身边的人，每个人能够接受的方式也不一样。

其中，我印象深刻的是吕强，他没有进前三甲，是个90后，应该是传媒系的。他说了关于“存在感” 这件事。在面子书上，现在的大家都在及时更新状态：去哪里吃大餐、今天过的如何、去哪里旅行、形势观点等等。反观之，上一代人，那时侯没有网络、没有太多科技，两个年过70岁的老人，车洪才一个人完成了一本汉语普什图语字典，另一个屠呦呦发明了疾病的 药物。

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有一段日子，我都有定期的去更新面子书 ，让身在各地的朋友能够知道我的状态。我以为大家和我一样，会去看看其他人过的如何。最后发现，他们都很认真的在过好自己的现实生活，根本没有时间去浏览你到底做了什么。

而我身边有一些朋友，他们不太上面子书，没有什么更新，更不用说他们是否会看到你更新的任何状态。

这些朋友，在网络的虚拟世界里显得很没有存在感，却是我最好的说故事者。他们很认真的阅读、实践，也不吝啬的把所知道的分享给我们。虽然我们这群90后，刚刚从学习知识的象牙塔走出来，或许我们的力量很小很小，小到没有人看的见，但是这些知识，我们互相学习，一起从改变自己，影响身边的人，在五年、十年的时间，他们可能是耀眼的一颗星，在照亮其他人。

也有另一班朋友，很认真的生活工作，养活自己，养活家人，和生活在打拼。这一班的朋友，比较长的时间是在聆听我的唠叨，对生活的不满。很多时候，当我尝试反省的时候，发现他们所需要烦恼的事其实比我多很多。

存在感，我尝试在现实和虚拟世界中寻找平衡，或许一度的太过沉浸于虚拟世界，虽然没办法完全抽离，我希望我还是一点一点的在现实生活中找到属于自己的存在。

备注：由于很长一段时间没有练习华文，造句生字都不灵活了，现在开始，不定时的写写中文，把生锈的刀磨一磨。

2015

November coming to an end finally. Now it left last month for year 2015.

Today is another lazy day, which I am suppose to do some work but end up i just sleep all day long. Feeling physically and emotionally tired after the hectic month, and it is time for a full year review on work. I feel very much to have a quick glance of my 2015. 

The biggest changes in the beginning of the year to now is, I have been running back and forth to Melaka until April, until there is no more a need for the rush. Kind of blaming everyone including myself for the loss. Wanted to treat like nothing has changes so far. But you know that everything has changed especially when you go back home. Thus, it make a significantly drop in frequency travelling home. 

Still managed to back home once a month though until this month, which I have to spend a weekend at Penang and also annual dinner yesterday so I plan to go home only next month. Sometimes it is hard to face the reality when you have been busy for some period then suddenly you have a break off. The wire seems like could not functioning well. 

After last year brought my colleague from China visit Melaka, this year my colleagues have come to Melaka. Three were two days planning with my coursemates, seniors team graduates and also a few of my batch mates. 

with my course-mates waiting for sunset.

With the Thursday night outing colleagues.

with Deb and Jia Yi

Meet back a few of my friends, seniors and juniors at the southern parts of Malaysia. One senior has just got married recently. Not manage to attend though. From Facebook, saw a few of friends have been in another life stage, having a partner, engaged, married, and some with their children. 

My sister also going to be official someone's wife as well next year. Not managed to attend her registration day this year due to some reason. I have spend my leave only in Melaka for the year. 

After graduate, finally I managed to fulfill my promise to find my girlfriend in Batu Pahat, she has been travelling up to Penang to visit me there, but I have never find her in her university until her graduation and been disturbing her a few time on the journey back to Johor from Melaka. Everyone is busy learning in this stage of life though, we have been long time do not have a heart talk and sharing already. When get to find her also she is the one listening to me mumbling and bring me to the good food around. 

Batu Pahat fishball noodle

 

nice latte in the house

Year to date, it has been more than a year of working life, which it has been over the adoption period of working life. But there is too much changes in work, so until now not yet able to adapt the changing environment and also the people come and go. Which I am not sure how will it be next year, with expecting there will be more changes come along. 

Farewell trip with Sang Mei back to her hometown.

Time scroll so fast that even my juniors also have graduated. Due to it is also the same timing as Penang Bridge Marathon, I managed to get back to USM and celebrate with them in person.

DTSP, USM- the hall that each of us enter twice in life time,

first one for orientation.

The second one for graduation.

 

Good memories in Johor, I have a few people love running the marathon. People ask why am I so in love with marathon. I am not able to tell the answer. I once thought to stop it but when never run, I will never move and when the stress level goes up, I find no way out. Thus, I am still not able to run away from the sports to relieve and heal myself emotionally and physically.

In reality, I am not a risk taker, I always only do things that I am confident with. In fact, marathon one of the special case that I have challenge it again and again. It creates a little up and down for the simple life for this girl.

 

Movie: Everest

It was a "Me" day once a week if I am not going home, with most of the time hiding in my room to have drama marathon.

Last week my colleagues were mentioning about a post of the level of loneliness that a person can bear. I recalled back the last time I went to movie alone two years back during my birthday. It has been some times so I went out alone over the Saturday to go for groceries shopping and plan for a movie alone date with myself. 

Went to the shopping mall early in the morning, first target thought to watch for "the interns" but it is not on the show so at the end I choose for "Everest". 

It was a good Me time to watch that movie with a lot of scenes passes through the mind that you don't want anyone to distract you. But the ending was really a sad story as it is according to the real story. 

It was the first time I have seen the Everest for real although still in the movie. And I am shocked when the scene of someone asking why people only sharing about if they have been succeeded to reach the tip top but no one share before the journey. 

The reason is because the journey is too painful, no one would want to refresh their mind and share it out. 

The atmosphere of the mountain is not suitable for layman to survive as there is not enough oxygen. So everyone who went to there for hiking is paying a huge amount for the hiking package and it is still not a guarantee that you can come back safely. 

It recalled again the book that I have read "The Last Lectures in Harvard", there is a story of one of the lecturer who are really in love of hiking and had an accident before while climbing the Everest and died in his 50s due to hiking also. 

A movie that earned my respect to all the hikers. The adventurous people who dare to strikes for their life. The responsibility each and everyone when dealing with the mother nature. Life is short and what we need to make sure it all worth it. 

Do Something Good vs Do Something Right

A few scenario happening around me that it suddenly comes to mind to write it out.

Case study: It was when I was still working with my first part time job. That time I was on my way to catch another bus at Pudu to go back to my workplace, there was a lady stop me and ask if I can speak Mandarin, I thought  that she need help for translation so I tried to listen to her. Then she look like really pity, in hurry and almost cry (this triggered my nerve!), telling me that she come from some place from North Malaysia and to work in a factory, and the boss has not pay the salary for months and now that she cannot survive like this anymore, so she wanted to go home but no money so ask if I have RM20 that I can give her so that she can go home. 

The first time met this situation, so without second thought, I take out RM 15  (I am also very poor and first time working only. LOL!) and thought that it could at least help a little. But after I take out my money and the lady go away, then only got one Taxi drive notice this and shout at the lady, then tell me this little innocent girl that this lady is there everyday begging for money and tell the same story to everyone. He even wanted to help me to chase after that lady and when I become  awaken after  his reminder I saw the lady walk far away like a boss and the "pity" look no more already. 

Lesson LEARNT. 

It happened again two years later. This time an uncle. I remember the timing because it was my second time working part time before I got an offer from university. I was waiting in Pudu again for the transit to my workplace. Sitting at the bench with people around. (I think I am becoming smarter, at least don't be alone). 

Different people, happened in the same area and almost the same story. Just that that was a very hot day. Maybe? I was in the waiting area only, but the uncle approach me to ask if I can squeeze a space for him to sit and he was really sweating. Then he started to tell me the same story line. Yeah, after two years!

This time, instead of having the same sympathy, I only wanted to run away from that scene and started to hold my luggage tight. I cannot simply go away or go down to the bus arrival as there is still a while to go for my bus to come. And disregard whether the story is true or not I refuse to give out a single cent. 

Outcome: Trust once broken, never easily build again. In fact this happening everywhere I went. A few times in Penang bus station and we see the same one asking for money saying his motorbike run out of petrol and ask for a few ringgit. But tak kan you everyday use motorbike and we pay the bill for you. 

Here comes a whole new month!

August seems to be a celebration month and also a busy one. Every weekend is filled with events.

Quietly I have turned to 24 years old. How time flies?

I have survived in this body for 24 years,
I have survived after farewell with Penang and come to a new journey of life,
and most significantly, I have survived for one-year working.

Conversation with people is always talking about when you will meet the partner of your life;
or for those who has found their loved ones, when are them going for another phase of life.

I have a number of cousin whom also at the similar age, some like me just finished studies and starting to work; some has work for few years and ready to settle down.

My age with my three elder sisters are not much different though, just that I have still excuse saying that I am the youngest one at home.

And here is the lucky of being the single one, people will afraid that you will be lonely so will celebrate birthday for you!

Had few of my all time favorite back to hometown, Meehoon Kueh, Lontong, and not forget Nadeje layer cake Rum & Raisin! Always run out of choices don't know what to eat when in Dataran Pahlawan and also Mahkota Parade.

Thanks to those still remember my birthday, and thanks for the gifts, cakes, and wishes.

August 31st, there goes the last day of honeymoon. I went to Batu Pahat to see my love one before back to Johor Bahru. Thanks to my dear Adrina to bring me eat nice food and coffee! Managed to stop myself to drink for cold drinks, the mocha taste so nice! I like the environment of Rocks Garden Restaurant! We went during tea break, my dinner before I head back to Johor for work the next day.

And September has come too fast on its way. Last three months before 2015 end though I have yet to achieve any goal in this year and it is time to plan for 2016? What I can plan is only next year trip~ What is your next destination to go?